With every push of my thumb upward the images made me feel worse and worse. Oddly in tune with my emotions that morning I recognized those images of their celebrations, gatherings, family, and physical appearances were making me feel smaller and smaller. So small I began to believe I was invisible, ugly, and insignificant. There was this heaviness on my shoulders that wasn’t there 30 minutes ago. What was that? Where did it come from? The more I pressed into that heaviness the louder my internal conversation became. Every sentence left me feeling one way… Not Enough.
Have you ever walked into a room and sized up the company and declared their value greater than yours in one simple phrase — I don’t fit in here — Maybe you’ve done that walking into church, joining a new bible study, or maybe attending a play date for the first time. It’s easy to see our lack measured to someone’s appearance. We judge our insides to another’s outsides and throw up walls of protection. Whether it’s our weight, our hair, their clothes, our house, car, or marriage… we can pull out every reason why we won’t belong before we even say hello.
What drives some of our feelings like:
In a word REJECTION.
The Spirit of Rejection is a tree which grows many branches, and on those branches are leaves of emotions like anger, offense, insecurity, and comparison. We can strip the leaves off the branches, but they’ll return, and we can cut off a branch, but it too will return. We can even chop the tree down, but unless we get to the roots, the whole thing will grow back stronger than ever.
I had to get to the root of my tree in order to be rid of it once and for all. The seeds of my tree were planted around 8 years old when a life event triggered a false belief that I didn’t belong. Out of it grew a tree of rejection that safely housed a belief — I would never be enough to fit in. No matter how often I stripped those leaves off that branch they only grew back. It wasn’t until I went back to that moment in time, and replaced that false belief with the truth, that my tree of rejection was gone once and for all.
Maybe you can identify with my story. Maybe you’ve stripped off the leaves of envy, comparison, or suspicion only to find them growing right back. I get it friend, I really do. Today is your day. Today you can identify your root and be free of this overshadowing tree once and for all!
I want to invite you to join me today for #mentormonday at 3:00 PST in our Remade Facebook closed community group. I will be holding a Live Facebook Chat about how I rooted out rejection. I would love for you to come. Next weeks blog — well I have no idea right now. You’ll just have to come back and find out. (heheh)
If you can’t make it today, I have attached a free download here so you can help identify what your leaves are and which branches they are growing from so you can begin rooting out your tree. Let me know in the comments below your branch of rejection the leaves you continue to strip off.