Pause To Be Present
don’t base future decisions on fearful what ifs
Hey friend, I have a confession to make.
I have a superpower complex, because I think I have them all. So naturally I believe I can do it all. I know I have the same 24 hours as everyone else, but I am different — watch me, I got this.
Uh, yea, no… my pride smacked into my reality last week in an ugly meltdown on the couch where the only superpower I had was the ability to clear a room, and not in a good way. My husband cocked his head and gave me the “really?” look.
After a hard cry, and a few I’m sorries, I knew I needed to temporarily pause to be intentionally present.
Perhaps you’ve had that mom meltdown, too. One day your plate is manageable, and the next it’s filled with unexpected responsibilities. Since they all seem to be demanding your attention, you tell yourself to just get through it. Only to find the joy fading and resentment building. Exhaustion is making you irritable, and you’re not really present for any of it. Your thoughts are simple… just get it through the day.
Well, maybe you didn’t feel that way, but let me tell you friend, I sure did. I didn’t have a superpower, I had a pride issue. I could feel the Holy Spirit convicting me. If I didn’t pause work I would regret it.
Something happened after the movers came to take Kaitlyn’s furniture. The sand in the hourglass suddenly seemed to be running at mach speed, and it caused me take a hard look inward.
I realized I was making my decisions out of fear. Yet, the Bible says God did not give me a spirit of fear. So I needed to stop filtering my decisions through one. Lingering too long in the fear-based-what-if category of my future made me strive to do it all in my strength and less and less in God’s.
So I made the decision to not blog or work until Kaitlyn is married and settled in her new home. Being present for these moments seem like a no-brainer now that the decision is made. Yet it didn’t seem that easy a few weeks ago.
I will still post fun stuff on Instagram about the wedding and life. So follow me there if you don’t already. I promise to be right back here mid April sharing all the crazy things God shares with me. So don’t you go anywhere. We’ve got a lot coming up with the mentorship, and I don’t want you to miss a moment of it.
Until then friend, maybe this confession has stirred you to ask yourself the same questions I asked my own self.
- Am I basing my decisions in fear?
- Am I using my strength or God’s?
I’ll see you in April, and thanks friend for walking the journey with me.
PS… After I made the announcement to my team, Kaitlyn walked up behind me and hugged me and said, thanks mom that made me feel special. The weight of that one decision was felt at that very moment.